The Day When Being Cute Became Annoying

Every man wants relatively the same things in life. A nice car, deep Lazy-boy, big screen TV, great food on-call 24/7 and, of course, a very cute girl to have around when you want. The important words that you need to remember from that last sentence are "cute girl to have around WHEN YOU WANT" ...with an emphasis on WHEN YOU WANT.

I can only try to tell you how many times I've seen this curs-ed Snorg Tees broad gracing my AdSense bar; perhaps a thousand, maybe even a f'ing million. Of course I'm totally biased on the subject. I personally think that t-shirts with little sayings or euphemisms on them are for those who would rather have people in their vicinity look at their chest rather than their face.

As I increasingly see these so-called "saying shirts" constantly & everywhere, the less I refer to them as "free speech" and the more I call them names like "fucking distractions" or, more succinctly, "LOSERS"; and even sometimes, in the most drastic cases, "receivers of the Lu-Dro mushroom tattoo...to tha face!"

Can you see what this annoying exposure has done to me! It's driven me maaaaadd! When I say that every man wants relatively the same few things, I can say that with confidence. But this culture-wide over-exposure to something we hold so sacred, this visual hijacking and commercial manipulation of our personal tastes, has desensitized us to the once-highly-held virtue of valuing the sight of a pretty lady.

The only remedies that exist are either to (1) constantly deny yourself irritation by internet ads by consciously blocking out their images and messages every time you see them or (2) gouge your eyes out with a warm spoon. Sorry about the graphic image, but actually that second option would probably take less total work than the first considering how often we are bombarded by advertising.

But hark! The stormy e-clouds part! I do have a choice! I will instead forever ridiculify and attempt to expose over-advertisement thru this blog as to preserve the values we hold dearly as the internet junkie generation. In closing, when you feel that the ad-wars are starting to mutate your values as an e-junkie... Stand up! Shun them with Fire! Brimstone! And Fervor! And if need be, slap them in the face with your d***!

Onward!

UPDATE: Apparently many others also participate in this regular mushroom tattooing vent session. On a slightly stalkerish note, bloggers claim to have even found her MySpace.