Friday Link Fiesta #2: The Internet Is F'ing Crazy...

• Run Pops, Ruuuunnnnnn!!!!!

• School starts on Tuesday, everybody moves back into D.C. tomorrow...I can't wait.

• Blogger makes a correlation with getting ass and LeBron getting better.

• Great song, great dance, haha.

• Apparently Wilt "The Stilt" had an FBI file, which was basically just littered with offenses worse than Tim Donaghy.

• A review of a German electronic music festival featuring some of my favorite musicians and party scene, Cologne. The website Resident Advisor is also just a great way to keep up with all the latest development's in this obscure, vast genre.

• The Internet's "Black Holes": A Cause Worth Reporting

• Gotta love that old-school tennis rackets and Röyksopp (Oh, and cheap car insurance: For Those Who Haven't Seen It):

Mixtape #1 (No Edits Yet)

It's been a really busy week at work, with school, friends, that gf, etc. and I have been neglecting the blog regrettably. Well, just to get those internal electronic juices flowing again, I'm gonna publish the tracklist of a dance mixtape that I just made for the new sound system I just installed at my place. It's in first draft mode, so bear with me; but disregard do not, for the tracks are steadfast, true, and slightly glam-nasty.

Mix #1: Track - Artist
1.) Who's That? - Tiga
2.) I Go Hard, I Go Home - The Presets
3.) Curls - Madvillain
4.) Can't Get You Out Of My Head - Kylie Minogue
5.) Pogo - Digitalism
6.) Bizarre Love Triange (Shep Pettibone Remix) - New Order
7.) My Piano - Hot Chip
8.) In The Morning - Junior Boys
9.) D.A.N.C.E. - Justice
10.) Stronger - Kanye West
11.) The Difference It Makes (Superpitcher Remix) - The M.F.A.
12.) Krokus (Superpitcher Mix) - Carsten Jost
13.) Like You (Supermayer Remix) - Gui Boratto
14.) Rocket No. 3 - A Rocket In Dub
15.) Hearts On Fire - Cut Copy
16.) (Just Like We) Breakdown - Hot Chip (DFA Remix)

Gotta show tons of love for that craiglist!! In all seriousness, I haven't seen a 5-disc CD changer since OJ had Isotoners, and now I'm more than just a mad proud owner.

Boost Mobile Commcercial

I must've seen this commercial three hundred times (exact tally, be warned: don't knock the exact tally). It is probably the only 30-second spot that I can remember seeing so often and still not hate.



Best Part: Joey Fatone look-alike in the pool springing a very well-crafted laugh... it does not go unappreciated.

I've also gotta show love to the Boost Mobile episode (YT clip, 4:45 quote) of Aqua Teen Hunger Force:

Carl: What the hell is this here, some...uh, some sort of gay-out?
Master Shake: Hey! Just the guy I wanted to see! Carl, who's your cellular service provider, huh?
Carl: Dude, what're you dancing about here? You're poor.
Master Shake: Come here. I want you to listen to some.
(The Boost Mobile Phone chirps.)
Master Shake: You hear the chirp? Isn't that clear?
Carl: Isn't it clear that I'm gonna just completely fuck your ass up if you don't take three steps back? (silence) It's not, isn't it. You just look at me. Look at him looking at me.
Master Shake: Well, you can make or receive cellular calls with this. Give it to him.
Boost Mobile Phone: Where you at, dog?
Master Shake: See?
Carl: I'm on my land. We're both in America which used to be a good country until they started letting people like you do whatever you want.
Boost Mobile Phone: Hey, dog! Where you at!
Master Shake: See?
Carl: See this. This line? (points to where his neatly-trimmed lawn starts) Here? Line of death. You cross it, and your freedoms no longer exist. M'kay? Have a good day.

Due to the massive influx of fan mail...

In a recent sincerely ludro post about Bill Russell, I made the comment:

Also, Russell was one of the most prolific shot blockers of all-time. He, and all his victims, attribute this to his brutal psychological warfare that he waged during the season, as well as his uncanny natural jumping ability.

Which basically makes him my third favorite basketball player of all-time.

I've received an incredible amount fan email about that last statement (jeapordizing my large, ever-so-expandy Gmail storage), the majority of which inquire as to ascertain my Top 10 Ballerz Of All-Time list.

So, as a man who hold his fan base as well as fellow RSS lovers in very high esteem, may I present to you...

Top 3 Ballerz: All-Time Edition (w/links to prove it!)

1. Michael Jordan
   
2. LeBron James
   
3. Kobe Bryant
   

P.S. If you didn't notice, this is basically just a shortlist review of basketball players based more or less on tv commercials that are only partially rooted in reality. It's a rough description of some of my fav ballerz (current), but is unable to rank all-timers and is thus incomplete, considering Bill Russell lived before the Gutenberg press was invented or something like that.

Also, I kinda screwed you out of the last seven (7) ballers cuz I got really hungry in the middle of this post and had to go to lunch; I was supposed to finish it when i got back, but instead I slipped into a food coma and got lazy. Sorry. Notttt!

But, the true top 10 post will come...in time...eventually...after...I.....sleee........eeeeepp.

Bill Russell: Back In The Day

A recent SI article reminiscing with Bill Russell, by Ian Thomsen. Russell, arguably the greatest player of all time, talks about winning 8 championships IN A ROW and 11 total. Still an unbroken record, Russell led a Celtic team to feats that will probably never be trumped ever again.

Since then, people have forgotten this amazing sporting streak of excellence... probably due to its mythic status, as it probably comes off as impossible and out-of-this-world-y. He even did it when there were only 8 teams in the NBA, each with 10 players (a.k.a. only 80 pro b-ball players allowed) - basically allowing only the most talented players imaginable into the NBA (now theres about 28 i think). Since then, the quality and toughness of the league has dramatically

Also, Russell was one of the most prolific shot blockers of all-time. He, and all his victims, attribute this to his brutal psychological warfare that he waged during the season, as well as his uncanny natural jumping ability.

Which basically makes him my third favorite basketball player of all-time.

P.S. PWNDDDDD!

POOF, IT'S GOOOOONNEEE!!!

Here lies the Drew Gooden Reverse Soul Patch:

An Ode To The 80's It Was
Summon Much Pride It Did
Extend His Contract It Did Not
Now That The Patch Has Vanished
Hopefully So Now Shall He

R.I.P.

The Day When Being Cute Became Annoying

Every man wants relatively the same things in life. A nice car, deep Lazy-boy, big screen TV, great food on-call 24/7 and, of course, a very cute girl to have around when you want. The important words that you need to remember from that last sentence are "cute girl to have around WHEN YOU WANT" ...with an emphasis on WHEN YOU WANT.

I can only try to tell you how many times I've seen this curs-ed Snorg Tees broad gracing my AdSense bar; perhaps a thousand, maybe even a f'ing million. Of course I'm totally biased on the subject. I personally think that t-shirts with little sayings or euphemisms on them are for those who would rather have people in their vicinity look at their chest rather than their face.

As I increasingly see these so-called "saying shirts" constantly & everywhere, the less I refer to them as "free speech" and the more I call them names like "fucking distractions" or, more succinctly, "LOSERS"; and even sometimes, in the most drastic cases, "receivers of the Lu-Dro mushroom tattoo...to tha face!"

Can you see what this annoying exposure has done to me! It's driven me maaaaadd! When I say that every man wants relatively the same few things, I can say that with confidence. But this culture-wide over-exposure to something we hold so sacred, this visual hijacking and commercial manipulation of our personal tastes, has desensitized us to the once-highly-held virtue of valuing the sight of a pretty lady.

The only remedies that exist are either to (1) constantly deny yourself irritation by internet ads by consciously blocking out their images and messages every time you see them or (2) gouge your eyes out with a warm spoon. Sorry about the graphic image, but actually that second option would probably take less total work than the first considering how often we are bombarded by advertising.

But hark! The stormy e-clouds part! I do have a choice! I will instead forever ridiculify and attempt to expose over-advertisement thru this blog as to preserve the values we hold dearly as the internet junkie generation. In closing, when you feel that the ad-wars are starting to mutate your values as an e-junkie... Stand up! Shun them with Fire! Brimstone! And Fervor! And if need be, slap them in the face with your d***!

Onward!

UPDATE: Apparently many others also participate in this regular mushroom tattooing vent session. On a slightly stalkerish note, bloggers claim to have even found her MySpace.

Follow Up: Sonics...Gone For Good?

In a follow-up to a link in yesterday's Bad News section of the Link Fiesta, more and more information has come to light regarding the situation between the Seattle Supersonics and their Oklahoma City-based ownership.

In a published report the other day, someone representing the views of the ownership was quoted as saying that "we didn't buy the team to keep it in Seattle; we hoped to come here" illustrating their intent (FROM THE POINT OF PURCHASE) to move the team from Seattle to Oklahoma City. This obviously did not take into account the great value in keeping the Supersonics in Seattle to the city, its fans, and the NBA in general.

Aren't the Sonics turning things around? Didn't anyone get the memo about their soon-to-be superstar 2nd pick in the draft? With a solid team and things looking up, stabbing the Seattlites in the back who were there during thick and thin would further promulgate the greedy owner stereotype that floats the sports airwaves.

In TrueHoop today, this rotten point is driven home. As a Clevelander, I sympathize with Sonics fans and hope that no other fan has to endure the pain of getting your city's heart ripped out by an evil owner. I thought people like that only existed in movies.

Maybe this is an over-the-top biased post, or maybe it's just a way for me to legitimize the posting of a Major League movie clip. But in all seriousness, the city of Seattle has a lot of history with the Supersonics and Seattlites really do want to keep their team; but in order for that to happen, the owners and the city must both compromise and make concessions about the lease and KeyArena renovations. If the fans step up and show that keeping the team there will please them, both the owners and the city will be able to save face and benefit if they compromise and cut the deal. Below is a link to the grass-roots initiative to keep the Sonics in Seattle and respect the views of the fans.

Don't Diss The Fan

Monday Link Fiesta #1: The Internet Is F'ing Crazy

• Bad News First:
• Seattlites are scheming on their fellow Seattlites.
• Our nation's recent economic downturn has a wikipedia article already... noooooo!
• Then Good News:
• Brownies are off to a good start for the 2007-2008 season, hopefully.
• Karl Rove Resigns: When asked for his reaction to those who say he's being "run out of town," Rove responded, "That sounds like the rooster claiming to have called up the sun." Moving on to 2008 election strategizing? The report says that he is going to be writing a book. Hopefully it's a memoir. It's doubtful that it will be a sob story, that prick.
• Random Links:
  
• Finally, a product just for those balding Star Wars fans out there, both male and female.
  
• A prolific science blogger with too much time on his hands.
• The only thing nerdier than the Halo 3 viral marketing.
• The Told You So Link of the Day:
• Girl OD's on caffeine
• Lu-Dro-ism of the Day:
• Look at the article title.

Penny!

Anfernee "Penny" Hardaway has been signed by the Miami Heat as of today (8/10). Thought to have retired after suffering a knee injury during the 2005-06 season, this signing comes as a bit of a surprise to many. Finally reunited with Shaq, this all-star duo will undoubtedly lead the Heat to the playoffs as they did with the Orlando Magic back in 1995 (went all the way to the Finals!)...oh yeah, and they've got Dwayne Wade to help out along the way.

I am going out on a limb here with some excessively preliminary predictions which state that the Heat will make it to the NBA Finals (led by D-Wade, a fit Shaq, and a semi-divine, yet humbly occasional spot-shooter simply named Penny) and beat the formidable Cavaliers to go onto play the Mavericks in the Finals. However, the Mavs will win 4-3 in an exciting series which will restore NBA ratings to the greatness enjoyed during the 90's.

[On a biased side note, the Cavs are looking good in the off-season and maturing together as a team fairly well. However, we still have yet to drop the excess baggage of Gooden/Varejao and have made zero moves toward the acquisition of an experienced point guard after the Mike Bibby deal fell through (Maybe just on the back-burner?). Rumor has it though that GM Danny Ferry is just going to sit on the team over the summer, eventually low-ball Varejao & Pavlovic with cheap contracts when no one makes offers, and then push very very hard for a big trade once the season starts.]

However, this post is not supposed to be about basketball, allow me to get to my point: Although I regularly fantasize about a Cavalier championship as well as meditate daily to YouTube compilation clips of LeBron throwing down massive dunks over NBA all-stars so hard that it shakes their entire family tree... my affection for the Cavs is incomparable to the love I have in my heart for Penny Hardaway. I've lived in Cleveland all my life, I even grew up wearing an over-sized Mark Price jersey to bed every night.

But for my 8th birthday party, my gracious mother cut out a picture of Penny Hardaway, my secret (or so I thought) childhood hero, dunking from the most recent Sports Illustrated magazine, taped it to a piece of paper, and then subsequently mounted it on my birthday cake. That brief moment of utter disbelief and amazement when I glimpsed that beautiful cake for the first time on that fateful June 1st during my formative years, rocked me so hard to my core that I must forever root for him, no matter the circumstance... even to this day.

Am I a slave to the basketball persona that is Penny Hardaway? Will I ever be able to escape his spiritual grasp? Does free will actually exist? Absolutely not.